Michael Jackson's 9/11

I was on a trip, eating with my co-pilot and another crew when....it happened.

We were eating in a mall restaurant and the other co-pilot's phone rang. The news? Michael Jackson was dead. Then the place just started buzzing. And the mall was buzzing . And everyone was talking about it. Complete strangers came up to us to make sure that we knew the news.

The three guys I was with...I guess it's a macho thing....acted like they couldn't care less and they were actually happy that he was dead. That is really tacky. Michael Jackson was a human being and being glad or indifferent that he was dead is not a good thing. He was really weird but it's not cool to wish or be glad that he is dead.

Back at the hotel I turned the TV on. It was like 9/11. Nothing else was on but this story. And it lasted for at least two days. CNN, FOX, MSNBC were consumed with it.

I watched the interview the English guy did with Jackson a few years ago. Michael Jackson was truly delusional. He said that other than his nose he had no other plastic surgery. Are you serious? And the way he spent money. He seemed like a manic spoiled little kid who did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and no one said no and there were no boundaries.

And poor Farrah Fawcett. She got royally screwed. She went through total hell trying to stay alive. That show that she did documenting her treatment was gruesome. And then on her day...the day that she died...she was going to have these tributes on Larry King and other shows and whammmo....Michael Jackson ruins her special day. You only get to die once so her big moment is blown. That sucks. Sorry Farrah, you got screwed by the King of Death.

Now what I always wonder when someone like this dies is where are they now? What are they doing? Are they surprised...like...oooops...is that what I was supposed to be doing? Can I get a do over? Or is everything just fine and Michael is as happy as a dead clam? Hmmmmm...makes you wonder.

The Funky Chicken

This video is great.

I'm not sure what kind of fighter they're in but the camera is on the guy in the back seat who's getting his good deal fun ride.

When you're in a fighter aircraft and you're going to pull Gs, you need to flex your legs against the G suit you're wearing to keep the blood in you brain. If you don't do that the blood will leave your brain, go to your legs, you will lose consciousness and then do the funky chicken. If you are the pilot and don't wake up in time, you will also be dead.

I could usually pull around 4.5gs or so without doing any straining. At 4gs I would start to get tunnel vision which is like looking through a toilet paper tube. I did that when I was bored and it was just fun to get a little tunnel vision. Then if I squeezed the muscles in my legs, my vision would be normal. Anything above 4gs or so and I had to actually do some work to avoid....funky chicken time.

I'm surprised he didn't choke to death on that huge piece of gum when he lost consciousness. Steve, dude, no gum chewing while you're flying, OK?





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Ed McMahon

Ed McMahon is dead.

That is really the end of an era.

I liked Ed.

When I was in the USAF, I was in LA for three weeks. I always wanted to see the Tonight Show so I got up at 5am and drove to Burbank to try to get tickets for that day's show. They gave the standby tickets out at 8am and then you had to get back by 3:30pm for the taping I think at 5pm.

When I got to NBC in Burbank it was almost 8am. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get there. That was fun. I didn't know traffic could be that bad. I got in this huge line and got my standby ticket. Now I had to just hang out until 3pm because if I drove back to the base I would just have to drive right back. I get to the studio on time..I'm always early....and we are put in this line based on your standby ticket number. I'm almost at the end of the line. There is no way I'm getting in. So just before they close the doors, one of the pages comes down the line and they have one seat left. Well everyone there had at least someone who was with them and they didn't want to leave their partner....except me. So I got the last seat for the 25th anniversary Tonight Show.

It was really cool to be there. It was mostly clips, no guests. The interesting thing was that Ed looked like he was absolutely bored to death. I guess after sitting there for 25 years and saying Hiiioooooooo every once in a while I would be bored too. The millisecond that the taping was over...I mean the light in the camera was still half lit....Ed was gone. Like he was shot out of a cannon. Everybody else stayed around for a few minutes....not Ed. Maybe he had some bad Mexican food.

And why don't they play those old tonight shows on TV? Somebody's sitting on them and they must be worth a fortune. Or is it one of those things where I'm supposed to pay $19.95/month to get a new DVD every month? Or maybe if the old Tonight Show was on somewhere no one would watch the current one. Who knows?

Jon and the Skank Plus Eight

What a sad story.

I don't watch Jon and Kate plus eight but it's hard to avoid all that's been going on with them for the last 6 months.

So, they're getting divorced which seems completely ridiculous. Maybe after some time they will reconcile. I don't think so. She got her makeover and looks like Victoria Beckham and he got two earrings, started smoking and enjoys the company of young skanks.

So who is the Skank?

Is it Kate? I would have hit her over the head a long time ago. That harping and tone that she uses with him. Wow. That isn't a good way to have your husband really love you and want to stay for more abuse. And now she's a cross between convention lady speaker, book seller and super model.

Or are the skanks the young lovelies that Jon is doing naughty things with? He has just had it. There is no way that they are going to get back together. I think that Kate would probably like to but his attitude is....where are the chicks baby? Kind of like an Austin Powers thing. He gave up his career, stays with those 8 kids all day long while his wife is traveling around the country doing her thing. And what does he have to look forward to when she gets home? More bitching about all the things that he has screwed up. I guess he decided it's time to do his thing.

They are paid $75,000 per episode and they have 40 episodes this year. That's $3 million. Not bad. But not enough to stay together.

I would have thought that they would have said, screw this TV show. Everybody out. We're going to be a normal regular family and make this work. No more book tours, no more speaking. John, you're going to be a postman and go to work everyday. Be normal. But there is nothing normal about their life. Except for their kids. So far.

And who are the real losers? Of course. Those 8 kids.

Oooops

Has it been almost a month since I posted anything on here?

I am very much affected by inertia.

If I am working out on a regular schedule then I keep working out. If I stop working out and stop moving, my tendency is to turn into a statue and it's hard for me to start working out again. I guess that this blog is the same way. Stay away too long and then my brain doesn't want to come here anymore.

About a million times the past month I've thought about writing but I just didn't do it. It's like if there is a pile of stuff that is sitting at the top of the stairs and needs to go to the basement, I will pass it and look at it for about a week until I actually take it downstairs. Every time I look at the stack I get slightly anxious and think...I really should take that down....but it's like a force field won't let me do it. Then when I do take it downstairs I feel really good. So in reality I should have taken the stuff down immediately and felt better right then. Or I could just delay and have a Cherry Hostess Pie. Remember those? The perfect food.