Craiglist List Medical Student Murderer

BOSTON – The fiancee of a former medical student accused of killing a masseuse he contacted on Craigslist has visited him in a Boston jail.

Megan McAllister, accompanied by her mother and her lawyer, met with Philip Markoff for about 25 minutes on Wednesday.

McAllister did not talk to the media. Her lawyer, Robert Honecker, told Boston television station WBZ the couple "had a candid, frank discussion about what has transpired and the events that will transpire in the future."

It's unclear if the couple's August wedding is still on.

Markoff is charged with shooting Julissa Brisman of New York City on April 14 at the Boston Marriott Copley Place hotel. He is also charged in a robbery at a nearby hotel of another woman he met on Craigslist.

He has pleaded not guilty.


It's unclear if the couple's August wedding is still on.

This news blurb was just on Yahoo. Are they serious about the statement above?

I think now might be a good time to reevaluate and call the wedding off. At least until he is sentenced to death. That way he can concentrate on his defence. Weddings take so much time and planning.

More Swine Flu

The government has asked that we not refer to swine flu as the swine flu. The fear is that we might offend the pigs and the pig industry will suffer. It's true. We are to now call the swine flu the H1N1 flu.


The are four classifications of people in the US.

1. The Poor with and without insurance.

2. The Middle Class with and without insurance

3. The Rich with and without insurance (rich is defined as anyone who makes more money than I do at any given time)

4. The Filthy Stinking Rich who even the normal rich think are rich....Like Warren Buffett, Trump, Gates etc.

So I have this vision in my head. There are 10 million Americans very very sick with H1N1 flu. They all need to be hospitalized immediately or they will probably die. Unfortunately, there are only 5 million available hospital beds in the US.

Who gets the bed?

Swine Flu

I have alot of reasons that I don't ever want to go to Mexico City again. Pollution, kidnapping, I can't breathe, they might cut my head off, I'll get food poisoned, I don't like sleeping on a bed made of concrete blocks. Now there's another one. Swine Flu.

This one is going to be a hoot.

The economy is in shambles. And if this thing takes off, Americans will become as paranoid as I have always been and not come out of their houses. Other than foraging for food, I seldom leave the house. What's the point? There's swine flu out there. And I knew there was. It's just now they're telling us about it. I already have my mask and gloves. And I have a lot of hand sanitiser. I also have this thing that I fill up with water and add a salt solution to it and I flush out all of the swine particles in my sinuses. I'm ready.

Air Force One vs NYC

How stupid can you be?

Let's fly Air Force One, in the middle of the day, at a very low altitude over the Statue Of Liberty and Manhatten with 2 F-16 fighters chasing it. Why? So we can take some cool pictures. And let's not tell the public we're going to do it so that they can think that 9/11 is happening all over again except this time it's Air Force One that's going to crash into your building and incinerate you.

Wow. And these are the people running our country?

If I were the President, it would be their last day at work.

TTFN

Do you know what that means?

I was on Facebook last night, yes it's shocking but I am on Facebook, it's complicated. One of my friends I was chatting with said at the end of the conversation, TTFN. I didn't even see it until this morning when I logged on. I am so far behind in the new world order.

TTFN means, Ta Ta for now.

How would I know that?

FAA Class One Physical

I recently had my FAA Class One Physical. As a Captain I have to get one every six months. Once a year I have to get an EKG. This is all a royal pain in the neck.

The biggest pain is that we are playing, you bet your ticket. That means if something doesn't go well then I don't get to fly. If I don't get to fly then Delta won't pay me the little they already do and if I don't get paid then I don't get to eat and if I don't get to eat then I get very cranky. So you see the problem with these 6 month physicals.

There really isn't alot to the physical except four things. Bad urine. Who doesn't dislike bad urine? It means you have diabetes or something. Bad blood pressure. But you can take drugs for that. Bad eyesight. Now you have to go get glasses. I hate glasses and don't wear them yet. The operative word being yet. And the dreaded EKG. Then you are really screwed because if that is dorked up, you definitely are done flying until you go through thousands of dollars of tests to determine, yes death is imminent or nothing is wrong and the machine is messed up.

Now on to the tests.

My urine was wonderful. The best they had ever seen. A beautiful hue and consistency. And no sugar.

My blood pressure was 120/57. Now one of two things happened here because my blood pressure has never been 120/57. Either the nurse doesn't know how to take a blood pressure or the pizza and ice cream regimen I have been following for the past 20 years is finally paying off.

My poor eyes. How in the world am I supposed to read line six? I didn't even know that there was a line six. Even line 7 was a challenge. On the letter K, the nurse was making K sounds to help me. I was duly warned that I need to take eye vitamins or next time they would put on the license that I need glasses. What I need to do is google eye tests and memorize the letters on line six before I go in. But they switch those things so fast.

My EKG. Here is where the fun starts. Take off your shirt and all the stuff out of your pockets. OK. No need to shave my chest due to my boyish charm and genetic makeup. I get wired up and the machine says abnormal. I know that. It always says that and I told the nurse that. So she fiddled with this and that and more abnormals. Then she told me, I've only had 2 abnormals and you're not going to be the third. Good, a fighter. On try 10 I think, she hears this buzzing noise. What is that, she says? Oh that's just my cell phone in my coat over there on vibrate. She almost has a stroke right there. No cell phones on! Turn that off! That is what is messing up the machine. OK OK. So cell phone off and I get to fly for another six months.

Then I see the Doctor who tells me the same jokes and stories from six months ago. At least he's consistent.

Now it's time to pay. The front desk lady is behind a wooden arched opening. She's there somewhere. Her room is 8X8 with 10 foot ceilings. All you can see is stacks of paper . Everywhere. You can't see her. Just an arm. The hand appears, she takes my check, I see someones fingers, I assume there hers but who knows, type my medical certificate and voila.....I get to fly until October!

Boston Marathon

The Boston Marathon is tomorrow. The hotel we're staying at is infested with marathoners. I wonder how they know that I'm probably not one of the participants?

Most of these people don't look healthy to me. They are emaciated. Or maybe I just don't know anymore what a normal human is supposed to look like. Most everybody is fat these days. And the runners are all going out this morning to, I guess practice running? And they all seem so happy. If I were running in the marathon tomorrow, I would be in my room right now, blinds closed, eating cheesecake and taking anti-anxiety drugs to help me make it until the appointed time that I would voluntarily run anywhere.

There's something very very basically different between me and these marathon people.

Home Shopping Network-HSN

Wolfgang Puck is on HSN right now selling pots and pans. You would think they are selling the cure for cancer.

These are pots and pans. The way they sell these pans is to not so subtly insinuate that if you buy this pot you will make the same stuff that Wolfgang makes. No you won't. You'll either make the same beans you've always made or you'll stick it in the cabinet.

I love HSN and QVC. The HSN employee is awesome. She could talk about a pile of dog poop for hours. Look at the texture of the poop. See how it shines on the grass. Surely and don't call me Shirley, when this snake oil salesman goes home, she can't talk when she's with her family. She talks incessantly. She must use all of her daily allotment of words at work. At home she probably makes grunting noises and the occasional curse word.

The joys of lying in bed on a Saturday morning on a layover.

The Best Oprah Ever

Yesterday as I was getting ready for work, Oprah was on.

It was the most amazing TV show.

They had two 14 year olds on who had been dating for 3 months. And guess what they wanted to do? Have sex. Yes it's shocking but true.

I can't believe that this was on TV. It's so moronic. These kids are 14. It was sick to have them even talking about this. It just further validated that this was somehow OK, inevitable and it legitimized it. I know it goes on but what about some privacy for these minors. Talking about how to talk to your kids about sex is fine and techniques on how to keep them in check....like a big leather belt. But this was just too weird. Of course I watched though.

The best moment of the show was when the sex therapist, Dr Berman I think, asked the 14 year old boy, "why intercourse?" I almost fell on the floor. Are you serious woman. He's a 14 year old boy. It's same as when I was growing up and our cat went into heat. There was only thing on Kitty's mind and it wasn't Kibbles and Bits. That was an awesome moment. Of course the kid didn't know what to say he was so embarrassed and it was such a stupid question.

Way to go Oprah.

Keep Your Eyes Out For The Seals

Better yet, keep your head down and duck.

If the Navy Seals are coming your way, you are in deep doo doo. Kind of like if you hear an A-10 or a Blackhawk around the bend. You might want to say your prayers because your minutes are numbered.

Seals are very good at what they do. And they never give up. Ever. You could put multiple holes in them and they will fight until they are dead. Not good for you if they are after you. The book from the Seal that survived in Afghanistan is incredible. How he is alive is a mystery.

Their BUDs training on TV is awesome. I've worked with the USAF pararescue guys and they are incredible too. They are much happier camping and in the woods than in civilization. They are anti-me. I want a Four Seasons thank you.

So now the pirates know to not let a Navy ship tug them anywhere and yes Francis there is such a thing as a human Seal. Stay away from them. The pirates won't make that mistake anytime soon.

Southwest Airlines Loses Money Again

Isn't that a crying shame.

Southwest is the biggest bunch of arrogant airline people around. Just like Delta used to be.....but we've seen the light and know that we suck just like the rest.

Southwest has only made money in the last several years because of their fuel hedging program. Because their managers didn't run their airline into the ground, they were able to fuel hedge. You have to have a good balance sheet to hedge and they did. So Southwest would go out into the future and buy oil at a set price for a set amount of time. And then when oil was $150 per barrel they would only have to pay $35 per barrel. The guy that sold them those hedges was totally hosed and Southwest made out big time. So that's why Southwest has made money quarter after quarter since 9/11. Not because of their fabulous operation but because they were paying nothing close to what everyone else was. And my pay, retirement etc was slashed because we had to compete with someone who was buying a very important commodity at a very different cost. I was paying for Delta's fuel.

I wish no airline employee anywhere any ill will. But, Southwest employees have been very smug and happy to watch all the rest of us implode. And they think it's because they are so much better. Well Lulu, the paying field has returned to equal and welcome to the real world of airlines losing money.

Here's to hoping that one day all airlines will make money and all airline employees will work together for better wages etc. What? Sorry, I was temporarily delirious. That will never happen.

Hello, Bob in India, Are You There?

Well, Hallelujah.

Delta is getting rid of the call center in India.

ATLANTA (AP) -- Delta Air Lines Inc. no longer is outsourcing reservation calls to India after years of complaints from customers who preferred to speak to someone in the United States. Chief Executive Richard Anderson told employees in a recorded message late Thursday night that the world's biggest airline operator is in the process of bringing all customer calls back in-house in the U.S. Customer calls were no longer forwarded to India as of the first quarter of this year, Anderson said. "The customer acceptance of call centers in foreign countries is low, and our customers are not shy about letting us have that feedback," Anderson said. Difficulty understanding the call center agents in India was a concern among some customers over the years.

The customer acceptance of call centers in foreign countries is low No, Dick, say it isn't so. You mean when I call Delta and "Bob" comes on the line and I say my flight has been cancelled and I need another flight to Boston and he says, "I understand you to say that you would like to order the chicken dinner from Phoenix to Cleveland?" No you moron, my flight has been cancelled.

Whenever I get India on the phone from any company I immediately hang up and try again. Delta finally gets it. Only took 10 years of customer torture but they get it.

From the Ministry of Propoganda

Have you ever seen a pilot walking between two flight attendants?

Have you ever seen 3 airline employees all smile at the same time?

There are so many good captions for this photo but I will use uncommon restraint and refrain.

Let's Have a Tea Party

Americans have woken up just a bit too late.

All of this hand wringing and Tea Parties about high taxes.

Well, you cain't keep buying stuff and one day not pay for it. That day has arrived.

Actually it hasn't, we're still going into debt.

If you want to have a tea party to protest how we're spending the money, fine with me. But don't whine about high taxes. I hate taxes too but eventually someone has to pay the bill. I also don't like paying my mortgage, my homeowners insurance, my car insurance etc. But bad things will happen if I don't. Why do Americans think we shouldn't be responsible and pay the ridiculous bills we've already rung up?

Working Out

Ahhhh, that feels better. I'm on a workout high.

At the compound where I live, they, of course, only have Fox News on in front of the aerobic torture devices. Well I can't listen to Fox News. So the best solution I found is to listen at a very high volume to "Cult of Personality". That seems to make it all better.

Hate is Everywhere

A "friend" of mine sent me the following picture with this caption:

Captain Sean Smith, a Delta Airline Captain, became emotional, after learning his Travel Pro was stolen from the cockpit! He was photographed as the first officer disclosed the information to him in the hotel parking lot.

Hats

I guess I'll never be a fashion maven.

On American Idol last night, they introduced Zach Efron. Now there is nothing about Zach that I want to emulate. Dude...hit the weights and eat some food. Wow is he tiny. Anyway, he had a stocking cap on.

See, I don't get stocking caps. I bring one with me on trips in the winter time and only put it on when my ears are going to freeze off. But as a fashion accessory? It makes my head hot and itchy. Doesn't it do that to Zach? Or does he have a different head than I do? If I were locked up in Gitmo and you wanted to torture me....forget the water board, put a wool hat on my head. Or a wool anything. I have very sensitive skin. That sounds manly, doesn't it. But I do. Rings, chains, necklaces, even watches drive me crazy. I wear a watch to work only because you people for some reason want to leave on time. So for you, I suffer. I can't wear sweaters and almost everything I wear is made of cotton. And it has to be washed before I wear it or I break out in a rash and really lose my mind.

My Dad always has a baseball cap on. I think they look cool but I can't wear them either. I want to be cool but I can't. So I wear the same clothes alot of the time. Not very fashion friendly but I do fit in with the other pilots.

You know what else I'm very sensitive to..well two things. One is fragrance. I have a very sensitive nose and perfume or lotion or anything like that really give me a headache. And second is the boom boom boom base sound of rap. Oh my goodness. When I sit in traffic next to a car with that boom boom boom I want to go boom boom boom with a gun. Good thing I don't have one. How do they stand that? I simply don't understand. I would be completely insane after 5 minutes of that.

I know what you're thinking. Lighten up Francis. I'm trying. But some of these things are a genetic curse.

Twitter

Larry King is going to tweet on Twitter. I'm sure he's not but someone will tweet for him. He's busy making sure there are enough Depends for the next day.

I'm not sure I really know what Twitter is. I think I do. It's where you send me inane messages constantly throughout the day about what you're doing. But I don't care what you're doing all day long. And I'm sure you don't care that I'm in stall 3 in the restroom at gate A-19 with quite a problem. That's just too much detail.

Maybe I'm crossing the line into my Grandparent's realm.

My Grandmother had no use for the microwave or the dish washer. She could cook and do the dishes just fine without those contraptions. Have I finally crossed into an AARP stupor? I mean I try. I got rid of my WWI flip phone and now I have an IPhone. Which sucks as a phone but is really cool doing everything else a phone doesn't do. I even text stupid messages that are useless to my friends and young family members. Although texting is useful when you want to talk about someone right in front of their face. Honey, you should see the guy I'm flying with. Whooooo weeeeee. Talk about a comb over. Ever heard of Head and Shoulders?

The Twitter thing is just in my face all the time. That's all I hear about. Tweet, Twit and so on. I'm sure, just like my flip phone, I too will succumb one day and be a Tweeter.

Calling All Wal-Mart Peasants

The CEO of Wal-Mart was interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today Show today. Matt is the one who while bike riding ran into a deer. Or did the deer run into him?

They were talking about a new bill in Congress that would make it easier for peasants to unionize. Horror. The Wal-Mart CEO said that this would be devastating for America. Blah, Blah, Blah.

I wonder. Does the CEO of Wal-Mart have an employment contract? You know. A legal binding document that list the parameters and boundaries of what he gets paid and is expected to do. Almost like a union contract. Would the CEO of Wal-Mart or any other corporation work without a contract? A contract that pays him millions if he is fired for poor performance. A contract that pays him huge bonuses when he really screws things up? A contract that pays him even larger bonuses when he screws up to retain his unmatched talent so that he doesn't go running away to another company and screw them up too? I don't think so.

Unions aren't so bad. They're just like the CEO's employment agreement. And since when has a company ever honored a union contract anyway? Just go into bankruptcy, get the shredder out and see? No more union contract.

Mr. Wal-Mart. Don't be scared.

My Last Flight Attendant Crew

I had no idea that my last flight attendant crew made a You Tube video.

Very creative.

Idol Implodes

Idol is so great this year.

Adam is incredible and there are some other good singers too.

But they still can't get the production fixed.

This year they have four judges instead of 3. The new one is wretched and hopefully is gone next year. Last week, Idol went over by almost 10 minutes. So their solution this week is only to allow 2 judges, instead of the 4 that they are paying millions, to comment on each performer. So that's what they did and they still went over by 5 minutes. At the start of the show they play grab ass and kissy kissy instead of getting right into it. And then they run out of time. Even with just two judges talking. You could tell that Simon was bored out of his mind and just about ready to explode.

This is great reality TV. Watching incompetent producers and directors who can't get a live show done in 60 minutes the way it was meant to be.

Priceless.

Maybe they could call up CBS's 60 Minutes and borrow their stopwatch.

Chi Coltrane - Thunder and Lightning

Splain something to me please.

How can Thunder and Lighning by Chi Coltrane not be on ITunes but the Gaga woman and the Flo Rida is all over ITunes?

Flo Rida

Idol did it to me again. I feel old.

At the beginning of last night's show, Frankie Avalon sang Venus. Never heard of the song and until they told me who sang I didn't know. Then they announced that Flo Rida would be performing. I thought they said that it was Slow Ride by Foghat. Cool...they're going to have music from my time. Slow Ride, Flo Rida sounds the same to me. Especially since I've never heard of a Flo Rida. I got all excited. All right, I thought. Finally some good music. Slow Ride.....take it easy......no....Flo Rida....don't take it easy......

Evidently, a Flo Rida is very very popular. And just like the Gaga woman. I've never heard of a Flo Rida. The song wasn't too bad. Well, it was bad, just not too bad.

Idol isn't doing very well hitting my age group. Frankie Avalon is way too old and the Flo is way too current. They did have Kelly Pickler on last night. I really like her. I don't like the country music but everybody likes Pickler. But poor Pickler is gone. The plastic surgeons has transformed her into someone that I don't recognize. Very pretty...but she doesn't look the same. Why would she do that? She was perfect the way she was. I guess she didn't think so.

Idol voted Scott the blind singer off. Thank you Idol. I never did like his singing and who was doing his hair? The last few weeks he has looked like Alice from the Brady Bunch. Not good.

Idol Does It Again

American Idol, the most popular poorly produced show in the world, screwed it up again.

Last night they went almost 10 minutes over. That means that if you TIVO the show, you missed the last contestant's performance. The last person to sing last night was Adam Lambert. So all of the people who TIVOd American Idol didn't get to see Adam.

If you are running a singing competition, you can't do that. That is wrong. This isn't Celebrity Pictionary, this is a competition worth millions to the winner. And the fans who want to watch the entire show get the shaft.

I've said this before. How hard is it to figure out how many minutes each segment gets? After that time, the judges can ramble on and on but you turn the music on and and move to the next segment. Easy.

The director has all of those fancy buttons in front of him and I bet he has a big digital clock too. So why doesn't he use any of it?

You would think that in a previous life the director might have worked for an airline.

One Eye

I am sitting at a table eating bourbon chicken with white rice waiting to get on my airplane. Having a nice dinner. Listening to my Ipod with my Ipod things in my ears.

At the table right next to me is this Asian woman and her child. They don't seem very happy. Then I see why. This white guy, about 40 or so, comes up to them, barks some instructions and they get up and leave. He wasn't very nice to them. I couldn't hear exactly what he said because I was listening to my music. So he sits down, looks at me and says something. I take one of my earphones out and say, what? He says, where are you going tonight? I thought that if I was listening to music, someone wouldn't interrupt unless the building was on fire, my fly was unzipped, a masked man with a gun was immanently going to shoot me or some other grave calamity was going to befall me. But no, we were going to chit chat. So I tell him where I'm going, pause to see if that's it, and it never is, and here we go with our unsolicited conversation. He tells me he's trying to get his wife and kid to San Jose, Costa Rice. OK. Whatever. And then he tells me he's a fellow Delta Pilot. Again, OK, whatever.

Then somehow he tells me that he only has one eye that works. He was in Iraq and the military Dr. gave him 10 times the stuff to put in his eye that made that eye blind. Then he rambles on about when we turn 40 we gain weight and his blood pressure might drop if he stands up too fast and I have no idea what he's babbling about. And I say, one eye? I thought you had to have two eyes to fly? Nope, only one. According to him, there has to be 3 functioning eyes in the cockpit. Not four. Who knew? He still is boring me to tears but now I know that I can fly with only one eye. According to him. And you know what? If I only had one eye that worked, I wouldn't broadcast it. It would be my little secret. But not him.

Why do people like that talk to me when I am obviously occupied and don't want to talk? I wanted to say, hello, ding dong, do you see the wires coming out of my ears? That means I don't want to talk to you. Get it? Thanks. Have a nice day. But I didn't. I think that's it. I put out a vibe that says, hi, you can interrupt me when I'm on the phone or interrupt my dinner...I won't do anything to you....I'm a nice guy. Got to work on being more mean.

Rubber bands

Why do some adults wear rubber bands on their wrists?

Is that a secret code or something?

Are they really wife swappers?

I Made It

About 30 minutes before the rescue plane was to arrive, the fog lifted. They got in and we got out. Yeahhhh. I am in a sleep deprived comatose condition right now but at least I'm home.

And why are some people named Phyllis?

Ruh Rooooh

That's Astro talk from the Jetson's for we're in big doo doo.

I am flying back to Atlanta tonight on an all nighter. I hate all nighters. I go to bed between 10-11pm, not 7am.

As I look out the 14th floor window of my hotel room, I can see about 5 feet ahead. Very foggy. The problem is that if the inbound plane, which arrives in about 90 minutes, encounters this foggy weather they won't be able to land. This will make it harder for me to fly to Atlanta without an airplane. If they divert, it will be a big mess. Then I'll get home around 10am. 12 hours after I normally go to bed. Oh well, back to wathcing the Apprentice.

Isn't That Special?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Lawrence Summers, a top economic adviser to U.S. President Barack Obama, was paid about $5.2 million by hedge fund D.E. Shaw in the past year, financial disclosure forms released by the White House showed on Friday.

Summers, a former U.S. Treasury secretary and Harvard University president, also was paid $2.7 million in speaking fees by a range of organizations and companies, including several troubled Wall Street financial firms, they showed.

That's nice. But we all knew that. They're all in bed with each other having unnatural relations. I bet when you are paid $7.9 million last year by the same people you're trying to reign in...you can give some great advice. No conflict of interest there. And I'm sure as soon as he is done with the gov'ment again, he will run as fast as he can back to the other side to collect more millions. And with that much money he can't find a suit that fits? Maybe that bulge is the $7.9 million.

Madonna

LILONGWE, Malawi – A judge has rejected Madonna's request to adopt a second child from Malawi, the star's lawyer said Friday.

The lawyer, Alan Chinula, refused to discuss the ruling further, saying only that he had passed it on to Madonna, who was in Malawi but did not attend Friday's court hearing. Madonna can appeal to the Supreme Court.

Madonna really needs to get a hobby. Something safe, like knitting.

She is really out of control. And I feel bad for those poor kids of hers. She flits here and there. Has babies, gets married, gets babies, gets divorced. Lives in who knows how many homes. The kids must be very confused and tired. It would be exhausting. And now I guess she's bored again and wants a new kid. When I get a new pet, it's very exciting for the first few months and then you love the pet and the excitement wears off. Well I guess the excitement from Africa child #1 wore off and now she wants more excitement from Africa child #2. Thank goodness someone in that country has the sanity to not allow it. She should look into Christian Children's Fund. She can support kids without hysteria.

I read Madonna's brother's book about her. It was very interesting. I read it with the knowledge that she and her brother are on the outs right now. But he really didn't bash her. Most of what he said was good and it gave a very good insight about what it's like to be that famous and crazy. She is a nut. A very demanding narcissistic nut. She surrounds herself with people who say only yes. Much like George Bush did. Or maybe they told him what to do and he said yes.

So three cheers for the judge in Malawi who stood up to Madonna. Madonna......get a Chia Pet or go to Vegas or there's a million fun things to do if you're bored. Call QVC and use a fake voice and accent and ask stupid questions about what they're selling. That's fun. I have lots of ideas to cure boredom and none of them involve adopting a child. Call me.

Lady Gaga

What is a Lady Gaga?

She performed on American Idol last night.

Evidently, she is someone that I'm supposed to have heard of.


From Wikipedia.

The album's lead single, "Just Dance", was released on 8 April 2008 and had reached number one in seven countries.[27] One of those countries was the US, where "Just Dance" started to receive radio airplay in October, and hit number one in 2009, becoming Gaga's first US number-one single.[28] The second single, "Poker Face", was released on 29 September 2008 and has reached number one in nearly 20 countries, including almost all major music market in the world.[29] "Poker Face" became GaGa's second consecutive number one on the Billboard Hot 100 in April 2009, marking the first time an artist has had their first two charting singles hit number one on the Hot 100 since Christina Aguilera did so with "Genie In a Bottle" and "What a Girl Wants" in 1999-2000. [30]

I am really shocked. I know that there are some current artists that I might not be the most familiar with. I know who Usher is and others. But the Gaga is really famous. Her singles have been number one all over the world and I've never, ever heard the name Lady Gaga before last night. Ever.

I listen to satellite radio. The channels on my preset are, 70s, 80s, Classic Rewind, Hair Nation and a couple of others. I don't listen to anything current. But usually if someone is as hot as the Gaga, I will have got a brief wiff of it. Nothing about the Gaga has come my way. Nothing.

I actually thought when I saw Lady Gaga on stage that it was Joan Rivers and this was an April fool's joke. But no, the Gaga is real. She can sing. The song was horrible but she can sing.

So I guessed I have finally crossed an imaginary line into old man land. Everybody who likes Journey raise your hand.

The Bewitched Secret

I have found a good way to deal with the economic mayhem we're in.

1. Watch no new shows or any current event programing. Cops is OK because it's fun to watch people get tasered and bitten by police dogs.

2. Watch copious amounts of reality TV, like Amazing Race, Idol etc.

3. Get a TIVO season pass for Bewitched. This is the most important part of the plan. Watch at least one Bewitched episode per day. The ones with Uncle Arthur are preferred. Bewitched is great because I can pretend we're in the good old 60s. Where the TV was crap and no one watched anything. The cars were humongous and used lots and lots of cheap gas. The economy was great. People dressed up like they were going to a funeral. Some people had affected very slight British accents even though the closest they had been to Britain was fish and chips. The telephones were very large devices that were immovable. Notice the hideous furniture. It's good inane diversionary entertainment. Watch two in a row. Go into a stupor eating Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey while you watch. You will feel much much better.

Southwest Airlines Rapper

Cat Fight

Happy April Fool's Day. How fitting that the world's 20 biggest bozos are having their big powwow today in London.

Now on to more pressing matters. American Idol.

Kristen, Karla, Karsten, Kara, Krimley whatever the new judge's name is....she is in a world of hurt right now. Paula hates her and Simon has turned on her. Simon openly snapped at Kara on last night's show. Kara told the audience, "if you think you can do this job then come on up here and do it". Or something to that effect. Simon told her to stop alienating their whole audience. Awesome. She's toast. This is her last year, if she makes it that long. She really has ruined this season.

Now here's what I don't understand about American Idol the production. Every week the last 2 singers get stiffed. They are running behind or very late and they tell the judges to make their comments in about 3 seconds. No banter with the contestants. Annoying Seacrest says his thing really fast and then bam, done with that contestant. The singers earlier in the show get much more time with the judges, time to talk etc. So let's see. Last night there are 9 singers. The show was 90 minutes. Don't they have a calculator and a scratch pad to figure out how long each segment should be? It's a really sloppy production. So much grab ass in the first 3/4 of the show and then in the last part it's like they just realized that school starts in 10 minutes and they haven't left the house yet. Hello? Buy a watch? Randy wears one that costs as much as a house and is big enough you can see it from 12 blocks away. Ask him what time it is.

American Idol is also fascinating to me from a psychological perspective. The contestants walk a very fine line. If they seem cocky and too self confident...I've got this thing in the bag....the public will gladly beat them with a very large stick and possibly send them home. If they seem defeatist, then too it is the big stick for you. And you have to be very careful about the faces you make while the judges are ripping your performance to shreds. Smile, be contrite, say "that's a great idea!" It's the same technique I use when I'm been debriefed by the simulator weenies. "Oh, Mr Sim Instructor, what a great idea. I've never thought of that. You are soooooo smart."