How Things Used To Be

I went into the USAF 27 years ago as a Second Lieutenant. I was a commissioned officer in the military of the United States. I bought a car 3 years before and had never missed a payment so I had a credit history and a good one. After a few months in the military, I applied to First Interstate Bank for a credit card. I was denied. Nobody would give me a credit card. No one. I think the reason was that I didn't make enough money. I had a gas card which you could only buy gas with...but no credit card for me. Wow, have times changed.

Before the meltdown, anyone could get a credit card. Dead people, dogs, cats....it didn't matter. Credit for everyone. Already have a gazillion cards with a huge debt load? No problem...we'll give you a card. No wonder Citigroup has lost $40 billion this year.

What I never understood was vanity credit cards. The ones with football teams or flying fairies on them. Who cares? I don't. I just want a card that works.

One more thing. Where did peanut allergies come from? I don't remember anybody having an allergy to peanuts when I was a kid. That makes no sense to me. I'm sure it's real I would just like to know where it came from. When did peanuts go haywire? I like peanuts. We had a kid on the plane the other day who was allergic. Delta's rule is that we won't serve peanuts 3 rows before and 3 rows after the allergic person. The dad wasn't happy about that. He wanted us to not serve to the entire plane. Ridiculous. I wanted to say to him.....dude....do you know how many rogue peanuts are hiding in the seat cushions and crushed into the floor waiting to kill your son? Lots and lots of lost peanuts everywhere. Probably about 500 lbs of lost peanuts. When did this peanut thing start? Weird.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

Warning dear readers!

I sometimes write in a sarcastic tone. Sometimes I even use satire to make my point. Sarcasm is a genetically coded personality trait that I was born with. "They" tried to beat it out of me when I was a child to no avail.

The email I received below is from the person who sent me the email to publish the Disney picture. Because I am a nice benevolent creature, I have removed his contact info from my blog so that a thing called a "web-crawler" won't infect him with herpes. I saw a web-crawler in the pilot lounge once but I stomped on it with my unpolished pilot shoe. Rob from Pictela is a nice guy. He's from NYC so I'm sure when he read my post he wanted to respond with 4 letter words but he didn't. That was nice. I hope he sends me more pictures in the future. This exchange has been quite exhilarating. Almost as fun as American Idol.

Hi Sean, thanks for publishing the pic I sent you. The original email I sent you was a private email; I’m not sure why you published it along with the pic. However, I would appreciate it if you would at least remove my contact information from your blog so that web-crawlers do not pick up my email address.

Also, I’d like to respond to your comments:

“Somehow they coded it so that I couldn't post the picture and add comments to it.”
RB: The pic is Flash but you can add comments in the blog, which you did

“Anyway, it is promoting Disney's new American Idol Experience. Or maybe it is promoting the company that made the picture, Pictela. I can't really tell.”

RB: The content is promoting Disney’s ‘The American Idol Experience’. We, at Pictela, are trying to help get this content distributed and published. The Pictela name is not promoted in the picture. However, I am happy to create relationships with publishers to provide them with relevant content in the future. In this regard, I’m promoting Pictela to you, the publisher.

“This also could be a very clever trick. To post this to my blog I had to click share on the picture and then it wanted my blogger user and password. Maybe the person who sent me the email is going to start posting nefarious items under my name on my blog.”

RB: I don’t really think you’re being serious here, but I assure you that we’re not looking to capture passwords to people’s blogs. The ‘share’ function is there to make it easier for publishers to publish the picture. However, you can also use the ‘Copy and Paste’ feature in which case you do not need to input your username and password.

Regards, Rob.

Obama's Address

Well he did it.

Not only did he mess up American Idol, he completely moved it to a different day. I plan my week on the American Idol schedule. This is not convenient for me to have it moved up one day. I have things to do.

What I liked about the speech was watching Biden and Pelosi behind Obama. Biden has this tick where he lifts his neck way up and scrunches his chin. He does it alot. It would be a good drinking game. Every time he does it you take a shot. On the other hand, Pelosi was trying to follow along on the printed copy of the speech that Obama gave her. She looked very uncomfortable and very nervous. She was trying so hard to remember when she was supposed to leap to her feet and lead the thunderous applause. Come on Nancy, the voice in her head said, you can do it. Don't stand up too fast and applaud while he's talking about how screwed up things are right now....wait...wait....now stand up and beam that smile and clap clap clap. They should have put a electric buzzer on her chair for her to sit on. Couple hundred volts at the right times and she would know when to stand up.

And poor Hillary. She just got back from China and she looked like she had been run over by a truck. Too much jet lag and bird drop soup.

I didn't know that the Congressmen who stand right next to the door and shake the President's hand have to stake those places out as early as 8am. I thought those spots were given out by somebody...probably Pelosi. But no. It's like waiting for Celine Dion tickets....which I wouldn't pay 3 cents for. So if the Congressman has to get the good seat at 8am, can he pay a kid $5/hour to stand there for him or use one of his staffers? Or does he have to do it himself? What if he has to go to the restroom? How does that work?

All these questions when I should have been watching Idol.

Sneaky

The picture in the posting below came from this email that I just received. Somehow they coded it so that I couldn't post the picture and add comments to it. Anyway, it is promoting Disney's new American Idol Experience. Or maybe it is promoting the company that made the picture, Pictela. I can't really tell. And why is Disney having a Gay-La? Is it because Obama is the President and it's OK to be gay now? Will there be future Gay-La's or this the only one? This also could be a very clever trick. To post this to my blog I had to click share on the picture and then it wanted my blogger user and password. Maybe the person who sent me the email is going to start posting nefarious items under my name on my blog. Maybe this is a plot to take over all blogs and promote more Gay-La's. I must change my password immediately. All I really want to know is this....is Obama's address tonight at 9pm going to screw up my two hour American Idol experience?


Hi Sean,

I’m not sure if this content would be of interest to you, but I wanted to let you know about a really cool new picture that Disney has created for the Gala Premiere of Disney’s exciting new attraction - The American Idol Experience - that you can post to your blog.

If you mouse-over the image you can check out exclusive content from the gala including 62 photos, 4 videos and other information. Best of all, you can post this right to your blog by using the Share feature. You can also view the impressive full screen version (hit the little box in the upper right hand side of the slide show box).

You can check it out here: http://wdwnews.com/ViewPressRelease.aspx?PressReleaseID=112402

If you have any questions, comments or feedback about the picture technology, please feel free to connect with me anytime… I'd be happy to help.

Also, if you decide to publish this to your blog, I’d really appreciate you letting me know!

Warm regards, Rob


Rob Berger
Director, Community | Pictela
670 Broadway, Suite 305, New York, NY 10012

China

Why is China buying our debt? Is it because we buy all of their junk they make over there? And are they just loaning us all of the money we shipped over there when we bought all of the aforementioned junk? Doesn't China know that we will never pay them back? Ever. What is their motivation? When I saw Hillary in China thanking the Chinese leaders for loaning us money I threw up just a little bit. I was at home so it wasn't on my uniform shirt. Maybe a tiny bit on the cat.

The Obama talk show is on TV again tonight at 9pm. I haven't looked at the TV listings but I know one thing.......The Obama show better not interfere with American Idol. Nothing is more important than Idol and I'm very fearful about what could happen to the stock market and our economy if Obama pre-empts the most important hour......American Idol.

Barbara....Time to Go

I'm watching the Barbara Walter's Oscar Special right now. It looks like she's doing it from an assisted living facility....she's that old. Wow. I guess with plastic surgery you can stay on TV forever but she looks really olllllllld. She didn't until recently. Or maybe it's just because I've been food poisoned that I think she looks like something with an expired tag on it.

American Idol

Yeahhhhhh! American Idol is back on.

Who cares what is happening to our nation and economy as long as American Idol, The Amazing Race and Survivor is on. Really, who cares if we just spent 2 trillion. Anyway, back to Idol.

The fourth judge sucks. I don't like her. I like it the old way. 3 judges. But I don't like anything new so maybe she will grow on me...I doubt it, but maybe.

And what's up with Idol's incredibly horrible production quality? The first live show looked like it was being done by a 7th grade TV class. The director is doing a hideous job. All kinds of shots of the floor. The sound is horrible. They can't get the tape to work or they run the wrong tape. The show brings in a gazillion dollars and they can't get the technical stuff right?

I still love Idol.

PS My hard drive is starting to sound like a garbage disposal. Is that bad?

Fame

Fame is fascinating to me. Because all human beings are the same. It's just that some are luckier than others and become very rich and very very famous.

I was laying over in a South American capital city and there is all of this hysteria at our hotel because the Brazilian National Soccer team is staying at our hotel. The bus pulls up with a large police escort. The players get out and they are guarded by policemen with Uzis. The media is there trying to get interviews and fans are beside themselves to see these "stars". I had absolutely no idea who any of these guys were. I've never seen them before in my life. So to me they were just another human being on planet earth. Not special at all. But to the locals. Wow. They went out of control. Still the same humans. Just very very famous and special.

Poisoned

I am flying from Atlanta to somewhere and then on to somewhere else. The plane left Atlanta late and we have a short ground time before we leave again. I am starving. It's 2pm and I am hungry. I go out into the terminal and the line to get a sandwich made is really long so I buy a premade roast beef sandwich. Sounds safe doesn't it? 2 pieces of simulated very white bread, simulated roast beef, lettuce, tomato and that's it. The flight is only 2 hours long and about 1 hour into it I start to feel weird. By the time that we land I have a big problem on my hands. I don't think I can make it into the terminal because I have been food poisoned. That was 3 days ago and I still feel horrible. What did they do to me? And it's so pleasant to use the aircraft lavatory especially when all of the people are getting off of the airplane 3 inches from where I am hiding. That is one of the things that I hate about flying. I get poisoned every once in a while.

I will not eat airplane food anymore unless I am going to pass out. I usually get sick from airplane food. Occasionally we get crew meals which are first class meals. The pasta has some preservative on it that makes me sick but the real reason I won't eat it is this. The flight attendants are usually insolent morons.

Here's the way it should work. And the former Pan Am flight attendants do it this way because they were trained properly and take care of the pilots. You cook your first class meals. When they are done and before you start your first class service, you open the cockpit door, throw the flying monkeys their food and voila....all done. It literally takes 20 seconds.That's not the way the Delta hostesses do it. Oh no. The first step is the same. Cook the meals. Then what you do is serve first class for 2 hours and let the pilot meals ferment in the bacteria stew that they are sitting in. Then after a significant period of waiting, begging and maybe even some whining, you throw the pilot dogs their food. By this time it is botulism on a stick and you're taking your chances. No thanks Suzie. I'll eat my protein bar.

Ughhhhh....I wish I felt better.

The New Bailout Plan

I really don't remember what we're bailing out right now. It's all very confusing. I think it's the economy. Didn't we already do the auto industry? But what struck me about this last bailout was that according to the Republicans, no one in Congress read the 1100 pages of the bill before it was voted on. I wish I had known that. I would have put 10 million or so in there for just me......me, my name listed in the bill....$10 million. Nobody would have been the wiser. If they're telling the truth then I agree with the Republicans. Why couldn't we wait a few days and read every line in the bill and what's in there before we vote on it? Why? Because if anybody really knew what was in it they wouldn't vote for it, that's why. Because I'm sure there are lots of little $10 million zingers here and there in that bill. I just wish I was one of them.

Obama is the new Oprah

Obama really needs a time slot everyday to do his new talkshow. I've never seen a President on TV so much. Didn't Bush tell him that you are supposed to hide and let the VP make all of the decisions? I guess with what's going on that he needs to be out there right now and do his thing but at some point he does need to go into hiding. Otherwise when he does speak, nobody will pay any attention. When the President speaks it should be a big deal. We should all sit up and say shhhhhh, Obama is saying something, this should be important. Or if he won't go into hiding then give him his own talkshow and then I can watch the previews and decide if I want to listen to him or not. "Tomorrow on Obama, the President talks to world leaders about herpes." No need to TIVO that episode.

Taxes

I finished doing my taxes yesterday. All by myself...and Turbotax. That is the first time that I haven't used an accountant in a very long time. Did I fill out all of the forms correctly and include all that I was supposed to include? Beats me. But I am not going to pay someone close to $300 to do my taxes and wait forever for him to complete them. As a fairly normal US Citizen, I should be able to fill out my own tax forms. Shouldn't I? Is that an unreasonable request? I'm not Enron or Warren Buffet. Just a little old airline pilot with a house. That's it. And of course lots of business expense. I've been audited before. It was in 1987 I think and it was no big deal. They were looking for blatant fraud not little errors here and there. So I'm throwing caution to the wind IRS. Give me my refund.