Sad, A Little Weird and Sweet

I thought I was taping Michael Jackson's funeral or whatever it was. Evidently, Direct TV thought otherwise. I was kind of watching it while it was on live but I was knee deep in this project I'm working on so Michael didn't get my full attention.

The program was really sad.

It made me realize how sad it was for his family. There was his mother saying goodbye to her youngest son. Not good.

The casket was a little weird. First I wouldn't have him there. Like I said, he should be buried way before now. It's just strange. He died at least two weeks ago. And that casket. Polished gold? And on rollers? It looked like a huge thing that they would have at some tacky Chinese all you can eat buffet that was filled with orange chicken. Like a huge chaffing dish. And there wasn't something that they could have put the casket on after they rolled him in? A nice stand or something? I kept thinking, I hope they locked those wheels because if that thing starts rolling....oooops, that's going to be a problem. And with the rollers it also looked like a hospital gurney. And then when someone would finish singing the spotlights would light up that hideous gold box like Michael was going to pop out of it like a birthday cake. All wrong. Very wrong.

The sweet part was his little girl. That was an interesting moment. You don't really think of Michael Jackson as someone's daddy. I wonder when she looks in the mirror and then thinks about her dad....does she wonder, who are all these black people?

Now whoever put this thing together is amazing. How did they do that so fast? It was flawless. Very impressive. Too bad my recorder didn't work.

Michael Jackson

This story is much more fun than Sarah Palin abandoning the chief executive position of the state of Alaska. The job that the voters were counting on her to complete and she ditched them. Nice job Sarah.

Michael on the other hand is really tragic.

He needs to be buried. Dig a hole and put him in it. This whole hysteria over his funeral is absurd. They can take years for all I care to plan the memorial and they can have a memorial every month.....just put him to rest. Keeping him in cold storage is really disrespectful and gross. Respect the dead. He's not a media play toy or something to make money from. That was when he was alive.

And am I supposed to believe that his kids are biologically his? Didn't I learn in school that dark skin and brown eyes are dominant? So he had these kids through artificial restitution and they ended up with blond hair and blue eyes?. Straight blond hair with very white skin? I don't think so.

What's more likely is that he had such a self hatred for himself for being a black man that he changed into a white woman. Well still biologically a man but he would give Diana Ross a run for her money. So if he's going to have kids, he certainly doesn't want any black babies. He wants white babies. Like him. Much easier to start white than to do whatever he did to get white.

And the bio mom possibly wants custody of the kids. No what she wants is money. Another payout. Hey Jacksons.....if want custody of these kids who are not biologically related to you in any way then you better pay out and pay out big.

That's what I think.

I love this Michael Jackson stuff.

Al Sharpton, Superhero

I envision Al Sharpton living in a two or three story house. The house is filled with TV monitors. There is a command post with phones and police scanners. On the top two floors there is a big metal pole like the ones in a fire house that Al can slide down whenever there is a big news moment. At the bottom of the pole is a collection of Al's finest, most hideous clothes, perfectly pressed...ready for the superhero to wear. And of course there is a huge can of hair gel.

When the call comes in....like Michael Jackson dying.....Al and his team leap into action. He slides down the pole, puts his mustard colored superhero outfit on gives a generous slap of the old hair grease and it's out to find the TV cameras. I don't think it was 3 minutes after the 911 call and Al was set up at the Apollo theater doing I don't know what. It was a combination of vigil, circus, speculation and pontificating...all from the Rev Al.

He is a master.

He is everywhere.

He can talk ad nauseam about anything.

He is a Superhero.

Actually, when I see him, I usually have to take about 10 Tums.

Michael Jackson's 9/11

I was on a trip, eating with my co-pilot and another crew when....it happened.

We were eating in a mall restaurant and the other co-pilot's phone rang. The news? Michael Jackson was dead. Then the place just started buzzing. And the mall was buzzing . And everyone was talking about it. Complete strangers came up to us to make sure that we knew the news.

The three guys I was with...I guess it's a macho thing....acted like they couldn't care less and they were actually happy that he was dead. That is really tacky. Michael Jackson was a human being and being glad or indifferent that he was dead is not a good thing. He was really weird but it's not cool to wish or be glad that he is dead.

Back at the hotel I turned the TV on. It was like 9/11. Nothing else was on but this story. And it lasted for at least two days. CNN, FOX, MSNBC were consumed with it.

I watched the interview the English guy did with Jackson a few years ago. Michael Jackson was truly delusional. He said that other than his nose he had no other plastic surgery. Are you serious? And the way he spent money. He seemed like a manic spoiled little kid who did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and no one said no and there were no boundaries.

And poor Farrah Fawcett. She got royally screwed. She went through total hell trying to stay alive. That show that she did documenting her treatment was gruesome. And then on her day...the day that she died...she was going to have these tributes on Larry King and other shows and whammmo....Michael Jackson ruins her special day. You only get to die once so her big moment is blown. That sucks. Sorry Farrah, you got screwed by the King of Death.

Now what I always wonder when someone like this dies is where are they now? What are they doing? Are they surprised...like...oooops...is that what I was supposed to be doing? Can I get a do over? Or is everything just fine and Michael is as happy as a dead clam? Hmmmmm...makes you wonder.

The Funky Chicken

This video is great.

I'm not sure what kind of fighter they're in but the camera is on the guy in the back seat who's getting his good deal fun ride.

When you're in a fighter aircraft and you're going to pull Gs, you need to flex your legs against the G suit you're wearing to keep the blood in you brain. If you don't do that the blood will leave your brain, go to your legs, you will lose consciousness and then do the funky chicken. If you are the pilot and don't wake up in time, you will also be dead.

I could usually pull around 4.5gs or so without doing any straining. At 4gs I would start to get tunnel vision which is like looking through a toilet paper tube. I did that when I was bored and it was just fun to get a little tunnel vision. Then if I squeezed the muscles in my legs, my vision would be normal. Anything above 4gs or so and I had to actually do some work to avoid....funky chicken time.

I'm surprised he didn't choke to death on that huge piece of gum when he lost consciousness. Steve, dude, no gum chewing while you're flying, OK?





Are You With Me Now - Watch more Funny Videos

Ed McMahon

Ed McMahon is dead.

That is really the end of an era.

I liked Ed.

When I was in the USAF, I was in LA for three weeks. I always wanted to see the Tonight Show so I got up at 5am and drove to Burbank to try to get tickets for that day's show. They gave the standby tickets out at 8am and then you had to get back by 3:30pm for the taping I think at 5pm.

When I got to NBC in Burbank it was almost 8am. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get there. That was fun. I didn't know traffic could be that bad. I got in this huge line and got my standby ticket. Now I had to just hang out until 3pm because if I drove back to the base I would just have to drive right back. I get to the studio on time..I'm always early....and we are put in this line based on your standby ticket number. I'm almost at the end of the line. There is no way I'm getting in. So just before they close the doors, one of the pages comes down the line and they have one seat left. Well everyone there had at least someone who was with them and they didn't want to leave their partner....except me. So I got the last seat for the 25th anniversary Tonight Show.

It was really cool to be there. It was mostly clips, no guests. The interesting thing was that Ed looked like he was absolutely bored to death. I guess after sitting there for 25 years and saying Hiiioooooooo every once in a while I would be bored too. The millisecond that the taping was over...I mean the light in the camera was still half lit....Ed was gone. Like he was shot out of a cannon. Everybody else stayed around for a few minutes....not Ed. Maybe he had some bad Mexican food.

And why don't they play those old tonight shows on TV? Somebody's sitting on them and they must be worth a fortune. Or is it one of those things where I'm supposed to pay $19.95/month to get a new DVD every month? Or maybe if the old Tonight Show was on somewhere no one would watch the current one. Who knows?

Jon and the Skank Plus Eight

What a sad story.

I don't watch Jon and Kate plus eight but it's hard to avoid all that's been going on with them for the last 6 months.

So, they're getting divorced which seems completely ridiculous. Maybe after some time they will reconcile. I don't think so. She got her makeover and looks like Victoria Beckham and he got two earrings, started smoking and enjoys the company of young skanks.

So who is the Skank?

Is it Kate? I would have hit her over the head a long time ago. That harping and tone that she uses with him. Wow. That isn't a good way to have your husband really love you and want to stay for more abuse. And now she's a cross between convention lady speaker, book seller and super model.

Or are the skanks the young lovelies that Jon is doing naughty things with? He has just had it. There is no way that they are going to get back together. I think that Kate would probably like to but his attitude is....where are the chicks baby? Kind of like an Austin Powers thing. He gave up his career, stays with those 8 kids all day long while his wife is traveling around the country doing her thing. And what does he have to look forward to when she gets home? More bitching about all the things that he has screwed up. I guess he decided it's time to do his thing.

They are paid $75,000 per episode and they have 40 episodes this year. That's $3 million. Not bad. But not enough to stay together.

I would have thought that they would have said, screw this TV show. Everybody out. We're going to be a normal regular family and make this work. No more book tours, no more speaking. John, you're going to be a postman and go to work everyday. Be normal. But there is nothing normal about their life. Except for their kids. So far.

And who are the real losers? Of course. Those 8 kids.

Oooops

Has it been almost a month since I posted anything on here?

I am very much affected by inertia.

If I am working out on a regular schedule then I keep working out. If I stop working out and stop moving, my tendency is to turn into a statue and it's hard for me to start working out again. I guess that this blog is the same way. Stay away too long and then my brain doesn't want to come here anymore.

About a million times the past month I've thought about writing but I just didn't do it. It's like if there is a pile of stuff that is sitting at the top of the stairs and needs to go to the basement, I will pass it and look at it for about a week until I actually take it downstairs. Every time I look at the stack I get slightly anxious and think...I really should take that down....but it's like a force field won't let me do it. Then when I do take it downstairs I feel really good. So in reality I should have taken the stuff down immediately and felt better right then. Or I could just delay and have a Cherry Hostess Pie. Remember those? The perfect food.

Cat Fight

NEW YORK, NY -- Adam Lambert has no hard feelings after "American Idol" Season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken bashed him then apologized over a series of blog posts late last week.

"I don't know Clay," Adam told Access Hollywood on Thursday morning after performing on the "Today Show." "I'm glad he's getting headlines now though, because he wasn't before."


Last week, Clay hit his official blog, and slammed Adam, this season's runner-up. Clay revealed he only watched one episode of the FOX reality series all season, and it was the one where Adam Lambert took on Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire."

"At that moment, [I] thought my ears would bleed. Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening," Clay wrote.

A day later, Clay hit his blog again, to apologize for his comments.

"I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me," Clay wrote. "I imagine he doesn't give a damn! :-) God knows he shouldn't."

And it appears Adam didn't actually mind.


"If he wants to ride my coattails about it, good for him," Adam told Access, giving Clay the thumbs up sign.

Propsition 8

The California State Supreme Court upleld the law banning gay marriage.

I agree with the court ruling.

The people voted and that's what they want. I think it's stupid but if that's what they voted on...so be it. It'll change soon enough. And it made sense to me to leave alone the 18,000 that got married before the vote. They're still married. And after 18,000 got married I don't see any substantial changes in California. I come out here all the time and I don't see any more debauchery than normal. I don't think the demise of marriage has been accelerated by the 18,000 gay marriages.

But the whole debate is a great distraction. The state has no money. Zero. They are so broke. So why not obsess about something completely inane? I mean very shortly half of the state is going to be in the Pacific Ocean. I don't want to think about that either. Since I can hear every breath of the person in the next room I don't think this hotel would fair too well when the big one hits.

So I think Prop 8 and all it entails is a great debate. Keeps my mind off of important and scary things.

Receipts

This morning I went down to the lobby of the hotel/inner city shelter that I'm staying in and bought a USA Today. I love USA Today. Good puzzles. Good pictures. The USA Today was $1.09. They usually are 75 cents but I guess they charge a dollar. I give the lady my money, she gives me the change and then with the change, stuffed into my supple milky white palm, she gives me THE RECEIPT. For $1.09. I have to take this receipt. It's very important. I don't know why but if I don't take it the clerk will become highly agitated and quite possibly violent.

I'm not buying a car. I don't need a receipt to register this paper with the DMV. I'm not going to return it for a refund. I'm going to leave it somewhere so a cheap pilot can find it and be fulfilled that he didn't pay $1.09 for the paper.

Weird. I'm tired of these silly receipts.

Email is Quaint

Quaint

adjective, -er, -est. 1. having an old-fashioned attractiveness or charm; oddly picturesque: a quaint old house.

It seems to me that young people,(anyone younger than me), don't use email much anymore.

Using email is almost like writing a letter and putting a stamp on it. Nobody does that anymore.

I'm on Facebook. Yes it's shocking but I am. I have a reason that I got on there in the first place that I won't divulge here, but now I am firmly entrenched on Facebook. I got a message this morning from a friend of mine who is older than I am on Facebook.

It seems like people wait until I'm online to say hi. Whether it's IM on Hotmail or Facebook or texting, nobody sends me email anymore. Unless it's work related.....then I call someone, they really don't like that. I'm supposed to conduct all of my work exchanges via email. I like talking. I don't like email.

So I guess for work......I'm supposed to email.

And for everything else....I'm supposed to sit here in front of the computer or have my Iphone on waiting for the next message to come in.

Email is over.

Rosie and Sonia Sotomayor

I was watching CNN when the President announced his Supreme Court pick. I didn't have the volume turned up and I was doing something else. When I saw Sotomayor come out with Obama, I thought for a minute now why has he picked Rosie O'Donnell to be on the Supreme Court? That's a gutsy move. I guess the Supreme Court is like a talk show. Maybe it will work.

Then I came out of my delirium and saw Sonia Sotomayor. She seems good to me. She has a great story and she proves that you can do anything you want in our country no matter where you come from. As long as you have a mother who is going to work two jobs and kick you in the butt the entire way. Good for her mom.

Rush Limbaugh is in complete overdrive. Why does the mainstream media give him the time of day? He and some others are very critical of something she said 10 years ago. I'm glad I'm not judged by everything that has come out of my mouth in the last 10 years.

The best part about Sotomayor is her name. I love to hear her say it. I can't begin to pronounce it that way. And the newscasters say it all kinds of crazy ways. Not as fun as the Rosie show but almost.

Let's all get fired up!

Try harder than all your competitors - never give up.
-Rules of the Road

Richard emphasized to frontline employees Tuesday the importance of offering customers a flawless experience as increasingly more of the operations are integrated during the merger.

“It’s so critical that each of you keep your eye on the ball and run the operation as smoothly as possible as we head into the busy summer travel season. I know the hard work you’ve all put in as we bring our two operations together, but the only thing our customers should know is they had a great flight on Delta. That’s our best measure of success."

Richard Anderson
DNN Feature


Those are great sentiments Dick.

I really would like to be as excited as you are. I probably would be if I just arrived like you have and if I made millions and millions of dollars in my job. And especially if I would make more millions if Delta did really well.

Now I'm not stupid. I know where my paycheck comes from. And I want Delta to do very well. I just don't have any energy for it anymore. I'm tired. I work alot harder than I used to. For less money. So I'm trying Dick. I really am. And I promise I will read as many of your slogans that come out of the Ministry of Propaganda as I can. But I just don't think I have the energy to get really fired up this time like you are. Sorry.

Memorial Day- LCPL Philip Johnson, USMC

LCPL Johnson Biography

LCPL Johnson was born in Hartford, CT, the son of Louis and Kathy (Titus) Johnson. Philip was a graduate of Enfield High School Class of 2005. He was a member of the wrestling team during his junior year and he was also a member of Voices Incorporated, a choral program that integrated both Enfield high schools. Philip enjoyed music tremendously and played several instruments including saxophone, keyboards, drums and bass guitar. Philip's love for his country was strong and true; he wanted nothing more than to be a United States Marine from the time that he discovered what a Marine was. There is a certain pride in a Marine's eye from the moment that they earn their Eagle, Globe and Anchor and this pride radiated from Philip.

Philip was a dedicated member of the Westover Young Marines at Westover Air Base, MA. He joined the Young Marines at the age of 11 achieving the rank of Staff Sergeant before being honorably discharged in 2005 prior to joining the US Marine Corps. Philip took this step with solemn foresight that he was meant to serve his country through the Marine Corps. Philip began his journey as a Marine in August 2005 at Parris Island, the Marine Corps basic training base. Before graduating as a US Marine, Philip achieved the positions of squad leader and platoon guide an honor bestowed upon a select few that demonstrate leadership and proficiency skills.

After basic training, he was stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC where he trained with the 2nd Marines Scout Sniper Weapons Unit. LCPL Johnson was a member of the 3D BN 2D MAR KILO Company while in Iraq.

LCPL Johnson is survived by his immediate family; Lou and Kathy, parents; Jessica, sister; Beverly, grandmother; Doris, great-grandmother; Bill, uncle and Josephine, aunt. Phil is also survived by Aunt and Uncle Anne and Rick Honn; Uncle and Aunt Andy and Lori Titus; Uncle Paul Titus, and Cousins, Jimaine Titus, Joe and Jonathan Titus, Jacob and Andrew Honn
and Bill and Missy Johnson.

Propostion 8 and Iowa

Proposition 8 put a gay marriage ban in the California state constitution.

The California Supreme Court has agreed to determine the ban's constitutionality on Tuesday.

Here's what I don't understand.

I thought that California was supposed to be land of the liberals. Anything goes. And Iowa was conservatism central. Pigs and soybeans and lots of old married people who go to Lutheran churches. So how is it that it's OK to have a gay marriage in Iowa and not in California?

I'm so confused.

The Death of Newsweek

Newsweek Magazine is dead.

Or at least the Newsweek that I have read for a very long time.

I really like Newsweek. I don't read the local paper and occasionally on a trip I will read USA Today but that is like reading people magazine. So Newsweek was my source for more in depth information on whatever was going on at the time. I took what they said with a big grain of salt but I still learned alot.

For the past few weeks or months I've noticed that I've found Newsweek really boring. I thought that I was just getting bored with the same old news and the same old problems. It turns out that wasn't the case. I think Newsweek was slowly becoming the hideous version that they are now.

I got my new Newsweek in the mail the other day and as usual, I waited to read it until I was on a trip and in the airplane, I mean my hotel room.

The format of the magazine sucks. I don't like the print they chose. It's very small and hard to read. And it has long essays and boring crapola about stuff I really don't care about. I was so disoriented. I couldn't figure out what was going on. So I read the editor's column in the front. It said that with the Internet and so on that all of the news was already out there and they weren't going to rehash the news with little or no new content. So what they are going to do is bore me to death with commentary and drivel. So I canceled my subscription immediately.

Here are some comments about the new Newsweek from the soon to be fired editor.

Editor Jon Meachem wrote that the "reinvented and rethought" Newsweek would focus more on "original reporting, provocative (but not partisan) arguments and unique choices" and less on the "straightforward news piece."

Assistant managing editor Kathleen Deveny wrote in an article about the redesign that the changes were brought about by the shifting media landscape ushered in by the Internet.

She said the new Newsweek would eschew celebrity news and was seeking to appeal to "smart, educated readers who are looking for a publication that can help them put the flood of news into perspective."

"We will focus on a smaller, more devoted, slightly more affluent audience," she said, adding the magazine would drop its guaranteed circulation from 2.6 million to 1.5 million by January and increase subscription prices.

So I guess I'm not devoted, smart, educated or affluent enough to read the new Newsweek.

I should have known something was up when columnist Anna Quindlen "retired".

Goodbye Newsweek. Hello Time.

American Idol and Dick Cheney

I've almost recovered from Kris Allen winning American Idol.

Adam Lambert should have won by a mile but I guess 13 year old girls have more texting prowess than the rest of the population.

And what's up with Cheney? Doesn't he have something better to do than bash Obama?

Aren't former Presidents and VPs supposed to shut up and go away. Write their books and give vanilla speeches? I guess he didn't get that memo.

Maybe Dick would feel better and loosen up if he hung out with Adam for the summer.

$100 GPS

More airline safety.

In the airline business, we have something called runway incursions. That is a very bad thing. A runway incursion is when an airplane goes onto a runway without being cleared onto that runway. If there is another airplane taking off or landing on that runway while you make your gigantic screw up, you could go bang, boom and that is really a bad thing. If you don't go bang or boom, you will be in deep doo doo with the FAA.

Why do runway incursions happen? Part of it is that we are confused on where we are exactly on the airport. Most of us are taxiing around using a paper map of the airport with all of the runways and taxiways on it. We have to figure out where we are on the map and where are we cleared to go. Just like you used to do when you got the AAA map out to go to Grandmas. But guess what you can buy at Best Buy for $100? A GPS. It knows exactly where you are. We have GPS in our airplanes for flying but not for on the ground. Why? Paper maps are cheaper than a moving map in the cockpit. They can do it if they want to. But they don't want to. Money money money.

With a moving ground map in the cockpit you would really have to work hard at getting lost or going the wrong way or interpreting the map wrong. There is your airplane, on the moving map. That's where you are. If they were really serious and they're not, we would have a data link with ground control that would issue the taxi clearance on our moving ground map and we would simply follow the yellow brick road where ever they want us to go.

So it's money money money in exchange for a lower level of safety.

Major General Greg Feest, Jenny Craig is Calling

In this picture, Maj Gen Greg Feest, 19th Air Force Commander, visits an Air Force base. A Major General means he has two stars.

Now the USAF is completely freaked out about physical fitness right now. They measure your waist, they make you run 1.5 miles, you do push ups and sit ups. They are very very serious about this. You have to test once a year unless you fail and then they beat you with a rubber hose, don't promote you and then test you more.

Now look at this picture. The guy on our far right is a skinny Captain. Good. He's a good boy. The guy in the middle is the Wing Commander. He's a full Colonel. Still a good boy. Nice and trim. The lady is a civilian. She can eat as many donuts as she wants. And then there's the General. Making full use of every inch of that flight suit.

Good thing the flight suit muumuu is just around the corner.

Leadership by example.

A great thing.